The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek, Part II (1984)

Directed by: Charles B. Pierce
Written by: Charles B. Pierce
Starring: Charles B. Pierce, Cindy Butler, Chuck Pierce Jr.
Release date: 13th February 1984
Runtime: 1:32
BBFC certificate: PG

Summary: A professor (Pierce) takes three of his students (Butler, Pierce Jr., Serene Hedin) into the woods to search for a Bigfoot-like creature.

Review: "Written, produced, and directed by Charles B. Pierce." "Starring Charles B. Pierce and Chuck Pierce, with Mack Pierce and Pam Pierce." Talk about a family project.

This movie is dull, but (thankfully) not as boring as Return to Boggy Creek. That's not saying much, though, as we're fifty minutes in before anything of note happens. Most of the film up until that point consists of flashbacks covering locals' encounters with the creature. One of them is pretty funny, though; a guy is attacked while in an outhouse and his wife ends up having to hose his soiled self down.

The creature is shown quite frequently, and it's clearly a guy in a gorilla suit. The Arkansas scenery is lovely, but the night-time cinematography is really poor. It's so dark that sometimes you can't even tell what's going on.

As I mentioned, nothing really happens until the final third, when the four main characters meet up with a half-naked hillbilly who has captured the creature's child. It's marginally better than Return, but that's hardly saying anything as it's still boring beyond belief and you'll spend the majority of the runtime pleading for it to end.

Trivia: Despite its title, this is actually the third movie in the Boggy Creek series. Since Charles B. Pierce had no affiliation with Return to Boggy Creek, he decided to ignore it and make this the official sequel.

Return to Boggy Creek (1977)

Directed by: Tom Moore
Written by: John David Woody
Starring: Dana Plato, David Sobiesk, Marcus Claudel
Release date: 1977
Runtime: 1:24
BBFC certificate: N/A

Summary: Three children (Plato, Sobiesk, Claudel) get lost in a swamp during a hurricane and are rescued by a Bigfoot-like creature.

Review: This is one of those sequels that has nothing to do with the original movie. Those types of films can still be good if judged as a standalone movie...Return to Boggy Creek stinks either way.

This pathetic excuse for a film is mostly just mind-numbingly dull. Diff'rent Strokes' Dana Plato and Gilligan's Island's Dawn Wells star, so it has that going for it. They both give terrible, whiny performances, though, as do the rest of the no-name cast members, so I don't think I should have listed their presences as a positive.

The soundtrack is absolutely dreadful, with corny banjo music playing at the most inappropriate of times. I am also going to assume one of the child actors wrote the script under a pseudonym, as the dialogue and even the characters' names ("Big Bay-Ty", "T-Fish") are ludicrous.

Younger kids may get some enjoyment out of this movie, but anyone over the age of ten will undoubtedly be bored out of their minds. This is a beyond horrible return to Boggy Creek.

Trivia: Somebody thought making a G-rated, kid-targeted sequel to a horror film was a good idea.

The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)

Directed by: Charles B. Pierce

Written by: Earl E. Smith

Starring: Willie E. Smith, John P. Hixon, Vern Stierman

Release date: 24th August 1972

Runtime: 1:26

BBFC certificate: N/A

Summary: A documentary-style drama/horror about a Bigfoot-like creature which has supposedly been sighted in and around Fouke, Arkansas since the 1950s.

Review: This movie claims to be a true story, and a lot of viewers seem to find it scary. I don't live in Arkansas or even America, so it didn't evoke any fear from me, but I can see why it would from other people.

It almost feels like a nature documentary in some parts; it's shot on location and the Arkansas scenery is beautiful. The creature is shown fleetingly, which I liked for two reasons: a) it added to the film's atmosphere, and b) thanks to the movie's extremely low-budget, showing the "creature" (i.e. a guy in a suit) frequently would have provided laughs for the audience.

The soundtrack is pretty awful, and there are some really boring parts. The best scene occurs about an hour in; a family relaxing in their house are terrorised by the creature (it can apparently unlock doors, or at least attempt to). Overall, The Legend of Boggy Creek is a surprisingly above average film.

Trivia: The majority of the people in this movie are not actors; they are actual Fouke residents recounting their sightings of the creature.

Serial Mom (1994)

Directed by: John Waters
Written by: John Waters
Starring: Kathleen Turner, Sam Waterston, Ricki Lake
Release date: 13th April 1994
Runtime: 1:34
BBFC certificate: 18 for strong violence and language

Summary: Housewife Beverly Sutphin (Turner) leads a double life as a serial killer, murdering those who wrong her and her family.

Review: Well, this is definitely a '90s movie. Some of the hairstyles are painful to look at. There are quite a few familiar faces/voices; Chip's (Beverly's son) friend is Andy from Child's Play 3 and the Sutphins' neighbour is Mrs. Puff from SpongeBob.

This film could be described as a satire, as it makes fun of how serial killers are glorified in the mass media. After Beverly becomes wanted for murder, she is referred to as "Serial Mom". Chip finds it "cool" that his mother may be a murderer, while people in the street are amazed by her.

Turner is fantastic; she's deliciously evil as a serial killer and charmingly sweet as a loving mother. The death scenes are pretty funny, especially one that takes place in a bathroom and involves a liver. Serial Mom is a brilliant dark comedy.

Trivia: The video store Chip works at is John Waters' local video store.

Phantasm (1979)

Directed by: Don Coscarelli
Written by: Don Coscarelli
Starring: A. Michael Baldwin, Bill Thornbury, Reggie Bannister
Release date: 3rd May 1979
Runtime: 1:31
BBFC certificate: 15 for infrequent bloody horror

Summary: Thirteen year-old Mike (Baldwin), his older brother Jody (Thornbury), and their friend Reggie (Bannister) face off against the Tall Man (Angus Scrimm), a mysterious mortician.

Review: I've been meaning to watch this movie for ages. It's far from perfect, but it's entertaining and is certainly deserving of its status as a classic.

It starts off quite dull. It's not boring, but not much happens until about forty minutes in. Mike is a bit whiny, but he's nowhere near as annoying as your typical horror film kid. The late Scrimm is perfectly cast in the role of the Tall Man. He's creepy, but has a strange charm about him at the same time.

The effects are good in some scenes and silly in others, but nothing too distracting. The blood looks like ketchup, but that's expected of a low-budget movie from the late '70s. The whole film has a dreamlike atmosphere and it's executed really well. The scene where Mike goes to the cemetery and the Tall Man runs after him especially stood out to me.

I really like the last twenty minutes. The movie goes from a surreal daydream to a really trippy nightmare. Phantasm is overall a very good film.

Trivia: Don Coscarelli got the idea for this movie from a nightmare he had as a teenager.

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Directed by: John Harrison

Written by: Michael McDowell, Arthur Conan Doyle, Stephen King, George A. Romero
Starring: Debbie Harry, Matthew Lawrence, Christian Slater
Release date: 4th May 1990
Runtime: 1:33
BBFC certificate: 18

Summary: To stall Betty (Harry), a witch, from eating him, Timmy (Lawrence) reads to her three stories of horror from an old book entitled Tales from the Darkside.

Review: This is an anthology horror movie, so I will write a bit about each of the individual segments.

"Wrap-around": Betty is preparing a dinner party, and has little Timmy chained up in her kitchen so she can cook him and serve him to her guests. To keep him occupied, she gives him a book entitled Tales from the Darkside, and he decides to read it to her to distract her.

"Lot 249": Bellingham (Steve Buscemi), a nerdy guy, collects antiques. He buys an ancient mummy and finds a scroll inside its casket. After he reads it, the mummy comes to life. It kills Lee (Robert Sedgwick) and Susan (Julianne Moore), who had wronged Bellingham. Andy (Slater) destroys the mummy and Bellingham leaves town, but not before leaving Andy a present to remember him by. This was probably my least favourite story; I didn't find it very interesting and the characters really annoyed me, whether or not that was intentional.

"Wrap-around": Betty tells Timmy it's time to go in the oven, but he begs her to let him read one more story first.

"Cat from Hell": Assassin Halston (David Johansen) is hired by Drogan (William Hickey) to kill a black cat. Drogan claims that the cat has killed three people and offers Halston $100,000 to do the job. Halston attempts to kill the cat, but it ends up crawling down his throat. Drogan finds his body and is understandably horrified. I liked this segment; some parts were actually kind of funny. It ended a bit abruptly, though.

"Wrap-around": Betty says her favourite stories in the book are the love ones, so Timmy offers to read her one.

"Lover's Vow": Unemployed artist Preston (James Remar) witnesses a gargoyle kill his friend, Jer (Ashton Wise). The gargoyle makes Preston promise not to tell anyone and he agrees. While walking home, he meets Carola (Rae Dawn Chong); they eventually marry and have kids. There's a neat little twist near the end. This was definitely the best of the three stories and I really liked the ending.

"Wrap-around": Timmy starts to tell Betty another story, saying this one has a happy ending. He says it's about a young boy named Timmy who is kidnapped by a cannibal woman, but manages to turn the tables on her and cook her instead. He proceeds to do just that. A tad predictable, but it was a nice way of wrapping up the film.

Trivia: This was Julianne Moore's first theatrical movie.

Mother's Day (1980)

Directed by: Charles Kaufman
Written by: Charles Kaufman, Warren Leight
Starring: Tiana Pierce, Nancy Hendrickson, Deborah Luce
Release date: 19th September 1980
Runtime: 1:31
BBFC certificate: 18 for strong violence and sexual violence

Summary: Two demented brothers (Frederick Coffin, Michael McCleery) kidnap and brutalise three women (Pierce, Hendrickson, Luce) in order to impress their equally deranged mother (Beatrice Pons).

Review: This is a rape and revenge movie, but it's extremely campy. The Last House on the Left had silly scenes that led up to the disturbing ones; Mother's Day is goofy the whole way through, but hey, what do you expect from a Troma film?

In the beginning, the mother and sons kill a hippy couple, the girlfriend of which looked like Lady Gaga. About half an hour in, the three main girls are camping in the woods when the brothers show up out of nowhere and kidnap them. The movie tries to get us to know the girls beforehand, but there's no real character development.

This film is actually pretty funny. It has a lot of tongue-in-cheek parts that work really well. The brothers bicker a lot and the mother tells them off like they're little kids, which I found amusing. They introduce a subplot involving the mother's deformed sister living in the woods, but it doesn't really come into play until the very end.

As expected from a Troma movie, the acting is hammy all around, but it only adds to the charm. If you watch it with the right standards, this is a very good horror film.

Trivia: Frederick Coffin, Michael McCleery, and Beatrice Pons are credited under pseudonyms.

The Last House on the Left (1972)

Directed by: Wes Craven
Written by: Wes Craven
Starring: Sandra Peabody, Lucy Grantham, David Hess
Release date: 30th August 1972
Runtime: 1:24
BBFC certificate: 18 for strong bloody violence and sexual violence

Summary: Mari (Peabody) and Phyllis (Grantham) are kidnapped and brutalised by a gang of sadistic convicts while on their way to a concert for Mari's birthday. Later, Mari's parents exact revenge on the gang.

Review: The movie begins with one of those bullshit "based on true events" things. As a whole, I found it to be disappointing and too silly to be truly disturbing.

This film is, evidently, cheap as Hell. Not that there's anything wrong with that; the graininess adds to its unsettling atmosphere. Plus, it was Craven's directional debut and the cast is made up of amateurs. Grantham and Peabody are quite good as the victims, but the rest of the cast give wooden to downright bad performances. The soundtrack is awful. It's full of early '70s folk songs that don't fit into the movie at all.

When the girls are first kidnapped, the film cuts between the gang threatening, humiliating, and raping them, and Mari's parents preparing a party for her. I liked that; it heightened the disturbance of the kidnapping scene. Unfortunately, there are also a few stupid scenes involving two incompetent cops. They know a pair of violent criminals have just escaped from prison, and they see a suspicious-looking car next to Mari's house - whose parents have reported her missing - yet they don't report the number plate? If the scenes with the cops are supposed to be funny, then the joke's on me.

The gore is actually pretty impressive-looking for such a low-budget movie. I really like the last 30 or so minutes, in particular the final 15, which are very satisfying. Overall, this film could have been a lot better.

Trivia: This movie was banned in the UK until 2002.